San Francisco - Recovery Road

The road to recovery has been a pretty rocky one. The morning after I arrived in San Francisco (Thursday), I spent 5 hours at the hospital getting more foot x-rays and a full body exam. This was day 2 after the accident, and I felt my very worst. My entire body ached, and I could feel sore muscles in places I didn't even know muscles lived. With each itty-bitty hobble on my crutches, my body hated me more and more. I just wanted to soak in a hot bubble bath to let all the aches and pains melt away. But my tub here in SF isn't half as nice as the one on the ship. Darn.

Gift from Paul's parents, Tom & Marcia.

Dr. Choe (podiatry) said surgery was necessary to fix my foot and scheduled that for the following Monday. Dr. Touhy (sports medicine) determined that I had suffered a concussion and wanted to keep a close watch on that. My abdomen constantly ached on the right side, and with just the slightest bit of pressure, I could feel pain shoot up to my ears and down my leg. It was weird. He later figured out with other tests that my liver was pretty banged up from the fall (no, I didn't drink too much on the ship) and wanted to monitor that as well. CT scans were on hold because of the intense amount of radiation. He wanted to see if it'd just get better with time first before exposing me to all that mess. Thanks, Doc.

My sick chair ... with a view.

About 2 hours after I got home from the hospital, Dr. Touhy called and asked me to come back in for more blood work and tests based on results from the earlier tests. Oh-so-painful to move the slightest bit at that point, but I knew I had to do it in order to help them help me. So back to the hospital I went.


On Saturday, my friend, Carla, brought over a wheelchair to borrow which was put to great use over the weekend (Thanks, Carla!). It's now day 9 since I've been off the ship, and I still feel the sway and motion of the boat. This makes being on crutches very dangerous. So for now, I just crawl around the apartment on all fours instead of using the crutches. I'm doing everything I can to protect my semi-good left foot, as its not 100% healed from its fracture last August. Having the wheelchair is really great, though it's a bit uncomfortable and humbling having to depend on others for your basic needs. Mom, Paul and I went to mass and lunch on Sunday then took a walk down Fillmore Street. Mom lets Paul push me uphill and has decided there should be a little button that activates a motor to help you up the hills when you need it. Kinda like the ones on the hybrid electric bikes.

I get sad thinking everyday of where I'd be if I was still on the boat. But Kathryn (Chef Kelly) has done a great job with making me feel better by emailing everyday and keeping all the concerned passengers in the loop as to what's going on. The same group of passengers I boarded with will be ending their 19 day cruise in Barcelona this weekend. They had a prayer service for me on board the day after the accident, and they're taking up a donation for the priest and sisters who helped me in Bermuda. So sweet and thoughtful of them!!


My surgery was cancelled for Monday with Dr. Choe, because Dr. Schuberth, the head of podiatry wanted to take over my case. No problem. An office visit was scheduled with him for Tuesday (yesterday). Okay. Great.


Monday night Mom and I went to a Seder Meal at the church. Wanna know what the worst thing for a person in a wheelchair to read is???..."All Rise. Stand and sing..."  While we were there, I got a call saying the office visit with Dr. Schuberth was going to be the surgery appointment instead. I was told not to eat anything after 9am and be at the hospital by 2pm for pre-op and surgery would take place around 5pm. Okay.


Tuesday morning I woke up with a pretty bad headache. I ate, took some more pain meds, but the headache got progressively worse. By 1pm, I was vomiting and every bit of noise, light, and movement would send shocks of pain through my head. Was this because of the concussion? Was it from not eating enough? Was the intense dizziness still because of the ship? Or because the concussion? Was my abdomen hurting more because of the violent vomiting? Or was it the liver again? All of these questions going through my poor mother's mind. It pained me to see her watching me. So sad.


We got to the hospital, and I know I looked like a complete mess. Like a drug addict, maybe?? They wheeled me into surgery admittance with sunglasses on (to block the light), an ice pack on my head (to help with the pain), my fingers in my ears (to cancel as much noise as I could), and a bag in my lap (in case I got sick again). I felt ridiculous saying, "Hi, I'm here for surgery." I could barely even speak without getting nauseous.


They got my vitals and suited me up in the bed for surgery. As soon as the anesthesiologist saw me and talked to Mom about the accident history, he immediately called down to the ER to have me seen for my head and abdomen. He cancelled my surgery. They wheeled me on the gurney to the ER, and it was like a roller coaster ride. But not fun. I lost my stomach twice, but by this hour, there was nothing left in me. The most painful kind of heaves is when you're running on empty. Ugh...But at least I got everyone's attention in the ER!


They hooked me up to an IV and morphine and something else for nausea. That place was so busy and so loud that I just wanted someone to rip my head off right then and there. I was begging them to just give me something to eat to make this headache go away. But they couldn't until they ruled out the other stuff, like my brain bleeding. Oh. Okay. During the first 3 hours of lying there, I could hear other patients coming in and out. They were there for other things like dizziness, irregular heart beats, stomach pain. All of them got morphine, too. I wondered if that was just a San Francisco thing? If they just give out morphine like Chinese restaurants give out fortune cookies? After hearing the third patient getting morphine, I didn't feel special anymore.


I got a CT scan on my head and abdomen. Thank God, all the results came back normal. My mom kept asking them to give me glucose to see if that would help balance my blood sugar. Even though my headache was better, it was definitely still there. After 4 hours, they agreed to try it. And wow! My headache went away completely! Mom's always right! Okay, okay, it's good to listen to the doctors, too, but I told them when I got there that I just need some mashed potatoes and roast beef to get this headache away. But they were not amused. Instead, they let me lay there with needles and IVs and a bed pan, which I never wish to use again. Geeze. That was just awful.

Life in the ER.

Not many people would have been able to sit in silence with me for 7 hours. But Mommy did. She's a saint! I guess she took a few photos of me, too. When we finally got home at 9:30pm, I was still drugged and exhausted. But starving! We chowed down, as Mom hadn't eaten all day either. I love her!


This morning, I got a call from Dr. Schuberth, the podiatry surgeon. He voiced that he was sorry I had to go through all of that yesterday, but that it was the right thing to do in that situation. It would have been so dangerous to operate on me if I was bleeding in my head. And THEN...he said that if it was his foot, or if I was his daughter, he would NOT do the surgery. HUH?? Whoa. Now I'm really confused. He explained everything he saw in the x-ray and is now wanting to take the non-surgical route to recovery. I said I need to think about this a little more, as two other doctors have told me that they would opt for surgery. I'm going to see Dr. Schuberth tomorrow in his office to discuss this a bit further and to get my current cast replaced. The swelling has gone down tremendously, so the cast is a little loose and sliding a little bit. We went ahead and scheduled surgery for Monday, in case I opt to do it. But for now, I'll pray about it and ask for a clear answer from God. I don't want for this to heal improperly and then wind up needing surgery eight weeks from now. But I feel like...since surgery has been postponed twice already...is God trying to tell me something by that?!?!

Hamilton, Bermuda

(written April 9th)
Arrived Hamilton, Bermuda Tuesday, April 5th 10:00am
Ship Departed Tuesday, April 5th 6:00pm


Wow!! I was working out in the gym when we first arrived to Bermuda. So exciting to see this magnificent island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I learned it's one of the most secluded locations in the world. As it's the only island there, not a group of islands like most places. How beautiful this water is! I wanted to either drink it or swim in it!

Dockyard - Bermuda

Just as we were pulling into our birth Tuesday morning, Leslie, the cruise director, announced that instead of staying overnight in Bermuda, we would have to leave port at 6pm to avoid a storm that was headed our way. I guess it'd be no fun crossing the Atlantic with a storm at our side, so it was best for us to stay ahead of it. 70mph winds are no fun at sea. That meant Kathryn and I would only have 3 hours to play on the island. We had to be back to teach a Chocolate class on the ship at 4:00pm. 

After my workout, I stopped by to see Giovanni and get my cappuccino. He's from Verona, Italy and makes the best Illy cappuccinos. He was always happy to see me, though he hadn't gotten my name down yet. It was quite cute that he was embarrassed to ask me to remind him every time. He just called me "Beautiful" instead. Oh, those Italians.

I quickly showered and got ready for the day. Was excited to wear shorts so I could get some sun on my pasty white San Francisco legs. Kathryn and I had planned to explore the island on scooters! My first time ever driving one on my own. We were on the hunt for a gift for her parents since they honeymooned on the island years ago. And, of course, lunch was always a priority to us. Always :)

Apparently, the bad weather that hit the east coast the day prior was headed in our direction. But it was obvious that the wind had already made it to Bermuda. It was a beautiful day - 70 degrees and sunny, but very, very windy. We got our scooters and ventured out. A few strikes against me from the beginning: bigger scooter than I originally thought, very high winds, not wearing proper biking attire, no experience driving on the left hand side of the road, and a fear of motorcylcey-things. But I was up for the adventure! Hey - I'M IN STUNNING BERMUDA! LIVE IT UP!

Kathryn led the way, as she'd been to the island many times and knew exactly where we wanted to go. It was so beautiful that we stopped for photo opportunities every few miles. It's a pretty small island; 22 square miles to be exact. And some of the most beautiful water I've ever seen. All I could think about is coming back to swim.

The island is hilly, not flat like Florida. I didn't think there'd be as many cars on the roads as there were. The roads are more narrow and since the scooters don't go very fast, cars like to pass you as often as they can. A bit nerve-racking. But I was trying to relax and have fun. Kathryn was checking on me all along the way; she was a great biking buddy. 

Jenna

Kathryn

At one point, I could feel a trail of cars following close behind me, making me really nervous. I was trying to stay towards the left side of the lane to let cars pass more easily. However, I should have been more concerned about my safety and driven in the middle of the lane instead. 

A few times along the ride, it had felt like my steering would jam, making it a little difficult to turn the handle bar. It was about an hour into our ride when we approached this downhill S-curve. Just then, a strong gust of wind threw me off balance a little bit. I tried to steer, but it felt like the handle bars jammed. I didn't want to jerk the handles, for fear of the bike slipping out from under me. I realized I was going to hit the curb on the side of the road and, in a split second, I chose to try to jump from the bike as much as I could to keep from being thrown into on-coming traffic. I landed in the gravel on the side of the road rather than eating the asphalt. Thank God. I felt my forehead, helmet and right side of my face hit first. Bouncing. Pounding. And bouncing against the ground. I was going no more than 20mph when I crashed. I remember lying there in disbelief that this really did happen. That I actually did just wreck. As I rolled over to sit myself up, my sandal was still tumbling towards me. 

It took me a bit to realize what had happened. Cars stopped, and people were all around me to help. Nothing hurt at first. I was shaken up and scared more than anything. Kathryn was a ways ahead of me and didn't know anything had happened. Someone must have stopped her and she made her way back to me.

 

I noticed the road rash on my knees, forearms, hands and hips. Then, I looked down at my feet and saw a large golf ball-sized bump sticking out the side of my right foot. Oh, no. Not another foot injury! But it didn't hurt. So I thought I was okay. Thought it was just a goose egg, as Dad used to call them. Shock is an amazing thing. The ambulance came. Police came. Fire truck came. 

The paramedics wrapped my foot with ice. They helped me off the ground when the taxi came, but I couldn't put any weight on my foot. We decided I'd go back to the doctor on the ship and get checked out there first. We left our scooters at the scene and took the cab back to the boat. The scooters were each $50 to rent for 4 hours, and our 30 minute cab ride to the boat was $50. Have no idea why I remember that. 

Waiting for wheelchair at the ship

The cab ride was a long one. My head was getting foggy and I was getting really depressed thinking of what all this might mean. Was preparing myself for the consequences and reminding myself that God has a reason for everything. This, too, was all part of the journey.

I guess I'm smiling because I don't know what's wrong yet.

It was 3:00pm by the time we got back to the ship. The ship doctor took x-rays and determined I needed further care and observation than what he could provide. Crap. The Marina was setting sail in 3 hours, and I was not going to be on her. So, so sad. The doctor put a temporary cast on my foot to stabilize it for my trip to the ER. 

Kathryn trying to help me see the humor in it all.

Kathryn was thinking positively about the situation and stepped in like a good mom would. We were hoping that once the ER treated me that a few days rest in Bermuda would do the trick and that I could fly to Barcelona to jump back on the Marina. 

Neleesh helping me get to the ship doctor.

Passengers who knew me couldn't believe what had happened, and they cried along with me. They all knew this was my dream job and how devastated I was to be leaving the ship. But my real Mt. Everest was the next 4 hours...  

The Oceania team on the ship assured me that the port agent, Wolf (I'll just call him the big bad Wolf for now), was here to help me with everything along the way. That Wolf lives in Bermuda, and he's here to help with situations like these, and they happen all the time. 


Apparently, there was a lot of confusion as to how/when/where I was getting off the ship. After Kathryn left to go teach the class, the Head Housekeeper helped me finish packing a little hospital bag and said to relax and that "they" would be getting me in a while. I wasn't sure who "they" were, but I didn't care either and simply trusted the system. About 30 minutes after she left my room, Wolf called up and asked how much longer I'd be because the taxi had been waiting for a while. Huh?? I didn't know what to tell him because I didn't really know what was going on in the first place. At this point, I was unaware that I had suffered a concussion, too. 

Then the ship doctor called back up and said I was supposed to go to the hospital right away. "Okay, but no one is here to get me down there." He was confused and thought I was already on my way to the hospital. So...someone came back to my room and helped me to reception. The purser was there for me to settle my bill and explain my paycheck and such. It was a lot to handle and comprehend, lots of tears in the meantime. And still shaken up by everything. 

Somewhere in my mind, I had the wits to ask reception if my remaining stuff would be okay in my room. Then they were confused. They said I was to take everything with me because I was disembarking. Huh?? So Housekeeping took a team to my room to pack up everything. I had them leave some things for Kathryn. Particularly the tools I purchased for the culinary center. Oh, and I willed my Epsom bath salt to Kathryn for her nightly soaks :)

Then, we headed back down to reception. By this time it was past 5:30pm, and I was getting so nervous. The guest boarding bridge was already disassembled and my pain was getting worse and worse. They had taken my passport and given it back about 3 times, and it was just a bunch of confusion and commotion amongst a lot of people at the desk, including Wolf. But everyone was reassuring me that Wolf would help me with everything off the ship. That that's what he's there for. 

The Oceania staff helped me off the ship with all my belongings packed up. They wheeled me up to the taxi, and I heard Wolf telling the cab driver things like..."She's responsible for it. She's a guest. She's not crew. She'll take care of it..." At this point, I just wanted to get to the hospital as I was feeling worse and worse and couldn't think clearly. They put me and my stuff in the taxi, then Wolf came over and said something like, "He (taxi driver) will take you to the hospital, and I'm here to help you to an extent." To an extent? What does that disclaimer mean? So Geoffry (Angel taxi driver) got in and mentioned that he had been there waiting for an hour already. They had told him to start his meter, so by the time I got into the cab, the meter was already at $45. Are you kidding? It just seemed odd, but I didn't have the strength or brain power to think about it. Just take me to the hospital. Please. 

Then I realized I had no cash. And they don't take credit cards. So Geoffry stopped at an ATM where I had to hobble out with my aching body to get money. Got it. Okay. So now we're on the 35 minute drive to the only hospital on the island of Bermuda. The whole time over, I'm fiddling with my phone trying to figure out how in the heck I can turn the service back on. No luck. Tears trickling the whole way. 

We finally got to the hospital around 7:00pm (6 hours after the accident), but I had 200 lbs of luggage with me. And I can't walk. What am I to do?? A hospital isn't equipped to help me with my luggage. So I just broke down and couldn't believe that Wolf wasn't around. I thought he was supposed to help me? So Geoffry and I call him using Geoffry's phone. No answer. I didn't leave a message, because I didn't have a call back number because I didn't know where I was going. At this point, Geoffry is nearly in tears with me and even he can't believe that Wolf isn't there to help. He assures me that he's not going to leave me and don't even worry about charges at this point. He's not charging me anything because he feels so bad for me. 

So we decided to try to find a hotel where I can take my luggage while I'm getting ER care. All six hotels we call are fully booked. He drives around to a few B&Bs, but they're all full, too. We find one hotel with vacancy, but it's $700 for the night and on the other side of the island. 

I thumb through the phone book and call St. Michael's Catholic Church which we passed on our way to the emergency room. AMAZINGLY, Father answers the phone at 7:30pm. I told him I'm a Catholic from San Francisco and have a medical emergency with no place to stay and asked if there are any Sisters of Charity who can help. He was so nice, told me to hold on, made a phone call, came back to the phone and asked if I was okay with dogs. I'm fine with them. He then said there are two sisters who are preparing a room for me right now. I broke down crying again. Another ANGEL! I couldn't believe how nice these strangers, who had no responsibility to me, were being! I was so grateful. Father Vladimir told Geoffry where to take me. 

We arrived at the Caritas House of Prayer and were welcomed with open arms. By now it was 8:00pm. Sister Judith said they'd be waiting up for me and were happy to pick me up from the ER when I was ready. I insisted that they get comfy and that I'd take a cab since I figured it'd be really late. Geoffry was in awe over their generosity and was so thankful to them as well. At this point, Geoffry was thinking of his own daughter and was hoping that people would help her if she were in my situation. 

Geoffry then drove me back to the ER. I insisted he accept $200 from me for all his generosity and for not leaving me. It was the least I could do right then. He didn't want to take it, but I was going to mail it to him if he didn't. What was I going to do with Bermudian dollars anyway? 

I was treated at the ER by a great staff. The receptionist, Debbie, was Geoffry's cousin, so they moved me to the front of the pack, and I only waited about 15 minutes to be seen. They cut off the temporary cast from the ship, did more x-rays, gave me some good drugs, and then re-casted my foot for the long flight home. The x-rays here showed more than the ship x-rays. Right foot was broken in two places. One place might require screws or wire. I'd have to wait to see once I got home to see a podiatrist/surgeon. I have no idea how my face wasn't damaged more than it was. I still, at this point, was unaware of my concussion. 

 

I was able to use the hospital's wireless internet enough to email Paul and Mom to tell them where I was and to ask them to call Verizon to reactivate my phone. They then started working on getting me a flight home. 

About 5 nurses were helping me, talking about what happened, and they couldn't believe no one was there to help me. I told them I thought someone was supposed to be, but I couldn't get a hold of him. One girl asked, "What's his name?" I said, "Wolf." She said, "Wolf Willis?!?!" She was livid and asked for his number to call him. She knew him. By now it was probably 10 or 10:30pm. She called, no answer, so she left a message. When I was finally checking out around 11:30pm, someone came by to say that Wolf called and said he could get you a deal on a room. Pfftt!!

Got back to Sisters Judith and Delores around midnight. They were waiting up for me, and I still had had NOTHING to eat all day. Only had Giovanni's cappuccino from the morning. So they made me a peanut butter and jelly with a cold glass of milk and a banana. They stayed up until 2:00am with me, letting me use the phone to call Mom and Paul to figure out flight arrangements. They were the sweetest ladies, and I was so blessed to have found them. I had a simple, yet comfortable bed and room and was just so thankful to not be alone. It felt so weird to have 70 year-old ladies waiting on me, but they insisted. That's what Sisters do. Even Comet, the German Shepherd, was sweet and caring towards me. They helped me shower and prayed with me, too. I was so weak and fragile but felt like I was with family.

Sister Delores made my sandwich and brought me milk.

My room at Caritas

When I woke up the next morning, I could hardly move. My muscles were so tight, and my neck was so stiff. Felt like I had fallen off a moving vehicle or something!


Father Vladimir Sobolewski from St. Michael's stopped by the next morning to meet this little Polish girl. (Yes, he's from Poland.) Such a wonderful man of faith for helping a stranger in need. And so nice of him to come to the house to meet me. It turned out that Alex (Paige's husband) had been baptized at St. Michael's in 1975. What a coincidence! (Alex was born in Bermuda.)

Sometime that morning, Wolf called to see how I was doing (he had gotten my where-abouts from the ER). I didn't even want to talk to him. He said that he was only entitled to do so much for me because I was a guest, not a crew member. And that he didn't answer his phone when I called because he was at the gym for 2 hours. And that I should have left a message. Gross. This made me so uncomfortable to think that I was left in a cab with no assistance from him because "I was a guest and not a crew member"?? Are you kidding me? This is how he would have helped a guest of Oceania who was paying thousands of dollars for a cruise??? I knew this could not be Oceania's policy. I understood that since I was a contract employee that I am not insured by Oceania and all that stuff. And I wasn't even thinking of getting much out of Wolf. It just would have been nice to have the help I needed to be treated at the ER as soon as possible instead of me sorting out all the logistics while with a concussion and in great pain. Even a map of the island, a list of hotels, and a phone to call home would have been helpful!

Sister Judith sending me home.

Oceania Corporate also called that morning after I spoke to Wolf, so it was good to hear from the company. And it was also a relief to hear her say that Wolf should have stayed with me and helped me with accommodations. I ended up incurring over $300 on my cell phone trying to make arrangements and getting in touch with my parents and Paul. I know this because Verizon kept texting me regarding roaming charges. I don't care about the money. It's just something Wolf could have helped with, I think.

Comet wondering why I'm leaving so soon

Geoffry picked me up that afternoon to take me to the airport for my flight to San Francisco. It was like seeing my uncle. It was sad to say goodbye to the Sisters and Comet, as I felt like they were my family by now. For all they did for me, I owe them big. Their kitchen is undergoing renovations, so I told them as soon as my foot is healed and their kitchen is complete, I'm coming back to cook a feast for them, Father Vladimir and Geoffrey and his wife. And we'll also take a walk on a beautiful Bermuda beach with my brand new foot!

Uncle Geoffry taking me to the airport

The rest of the way home was long but smooth. Praise the Lord for good drugs! Otherwise, I'm sure I'd have other words to write here. Delta flight attendants were so kind and helpful. They gave me a full row to myself from Bermuda to Atlanta, so I laid down and slept the entire way. By now, my entire body was aching horribly, and I had no strength to even try to use my crutches. And I still could feel the sway of the ship. I was so sad and bummed.

I met some very helpful people on the plane, all of them appalled that I was basically escorted off the ship and left with just a "good luck!" But amazed by the fact I got to stay the night with nuns! A testimony of faith on so many levels. God is good.

On the flight from Atlanta to San Francisco, a fellow CIA graduate happened to sit right next to me. Matt graduated just 4 months after me. And though we never met at school, it was like we already knew each other. He's here in SF on a temporary assignment with Marriott. He helped me with my bags off the plane. Thank you, Matt.

Mom got to San Francisco 2 hours before me and was at my gate waiting when I arrived. It was such a surreal moment, as I thought I'd be seeing her in Greece, not California. But it was such a relief to have her there. Paul was waiting at the car to collect all my 200 lbs of luggage. I was so glad he was here in town and not away on business. 

So much to be thankful for. And I was trying to remain focused on that. All while getting used to the fact that I was back in California rather than doing The Crossing  :'(